Where Are You On The Stressor Scale?
Becoming a widow is one of the most stressful events possible. Here’s what you can do.
I found an article recently, Top 10 Most Stressful Life Events: The Holmes And Rahe Stress Scale, which describes the most stressful events humans face and, not surprisingly for us, loss of a spouse tops that list, rating the highest in “Life Change Units” at 100.
In addition, these stressors can accumulate, so that the situational stress can increase our susceptibility to illness. What I found interesting was some of the items on the list of other stressors that didn’t make the Top Ten:
Pregnancy: 40 (and widowed—Wow!)
Change in financial state: 38
Son or daughter leaving home: 29
Trouble with in-laws: 29
Change in living conditions: 25
Revision of personal habits: 24
Change in work hours or conditions: 20
Change in residence: 20
Changes in sleeping habits: 16
Change of eating habits: 15
Christmas approaching: 12
When I became a widow, my cumulative stress score would have been over 300. Many of the above items applied to me. I felt pulled in so many ways and in an almost constant brain fog. Many of you will relate. And research shows that a score over 300 would have increased my risk of illness by 80%.
One of the first steps in addressing this stress is to acknowledge that it’s there. These are all significant, real changes and which have significant, real consequences. This makes self-care even more important. Check out our list of self-care tips:
Get support: Reach out to the Paisley Project Private Feed for a safe space to ask questions or share challenges.
Have a cup of tea: The simple act of stop- ping to sit can be remarkably healing.
Exercise: Just 10 minutes per day of physi- cal activity can be enough to reset your emo- tional state.
Eat Well: Although I personally survived onStarbucks during the first year, anti-inflamma- tory foods include turmeric, coconut water, salmon, blueberries, pineapple, honey, yo- gurt, garlic, celery, dark chocolate (Yay!!!), red grapes, carrots, mushrooms, beets and a vari- ety of greens.
Drink water: Duh.
Clear the clutter: This had a huge impact on me. When stressors in life take over, your personal space can often get disorganized. Clear- ing your personal space can calm your mind.
Get a massage or take a bath with lavender or Epsom salt.