Paisley Pillars of Healing
It wasn’t very long after starting Paisley Project that we identified what we wanted the non-profit to actually do. We wanted to help support widows, certainly, but we discovered that despite the non-linear aspects of grief, there are definitely “categories” of the grieving process, which are roughly described as L.I.V.E.
The “L” stands for LOSS, and represents the many different parts of moving through the initial loss. Loss of a spouse, a partner, a co-parent, a life-style, as well as an image of one’s life. The “I” is for for IDENTITY. One of the primary losses in widowhood is the loss of who you were and what your life was supposed to look like. The “V” stands for VISION and represents the silver lining of loss. You have an opportunity to reimagine your life from the ground up. The “E” stands for ENGAGEMENT. With time and healing, many widows feel drawn to re-engage in the world, shifting from surviving the loss to using their gifts and experiences to thrive in a new normal.
L.I.V.E. is definitely the “what” of Paisley Project. But the “how” of what we do has taken a bit longer to identify. We knew we wanted to address the many facets of grief and the toll it takes on physical health, mental well-being, spiritual strength, and community connection. In addition, we wanted techniques and methods that could support a widow in any of the areas of L.I.V.E.
Now, ten years later, after a lot of study and exploration, we are confident that we have developed an evidence-based approach to healing. Research shows that these activities transform grief into resilience and our six Pillars of Healing are embedded in every activity and program we offer. Each on its own provides relief and supports a widow’s well-being, providing a stable, grounding place to rest. Combined, they hold space for healing, like the way the pillars of a building hold up the roof, containing and describing an open, protected space within.
The Paisley Project Pillars of Healing:
Here they are:
Social Connection In a Safe Space
Research indicates that social connection in a safe space plays a vital role in the healing journey for widows. Studies have found that individuals who engage in supportive social networks experience a reduction in feelings of isolation and loneliness, which are often heightened during the grieving process. A safe space, where emotions can be expressed without judgment, fosters a sense of belonging and community, allowing widows to share their experiences and feelings openly. According to psychological literature, these interactions can lead to improved mental health outcomes, including decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Furthermore, connecting with others who understand their experience can significantly alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness. Group activities and discussions in these safe environments have been linked to the development of coping strategies and resilience, helping widows navigate their grief more effectively. The combination of emotional support and shared experiences creates a healing atmosphere, underscoring the importance of social connections in the aftermath of loss.
Paisley Project offers this connection through our private Facebook page, through our L.I.V.E. Intensive Retreats, and through our other activities.
Time in Nature
Spending time in natural environments can have significant healing effects for widows. Studies show that natural environments can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, which are common emotional challenges faced during the grieving process. Engaging with nature encourages mindfulness and reflection, allowing widows to process their emotions in a serene setting.
Furthermore, exposure to green spaces is linked to improved mood and overall well-being, promoting a sense of connection to life and the world around them. Studies suggest that exposure to nature reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. It enhances mood, cognitive function, and overall life satisfaction.
Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike, or simply sitting by a tree, nature provides solace and rejuvenation. All of our L.I.V.E. Intensive Retreats are hosted in beautify parts of the country and include nature-based activities.
Professional Coaching
Professional coaching can be a valuable resource for widows navigating the complex journey of grief and healing. Here are ways in which coaching can provide support:
Emotional Guidance and Validation: A coach offers a safe space for widows to express their emotions, fears, and pain. They validate these feelings and provide empathetic support. Knowing that their emotions are normal and understood can alleviate the isolation and loneliness often experienced during grief.
Creating a Healing Plan: Coaches collaborate with widows to create personalized healing plans. These plans may include self-care routines, coping strategies, and setting achievable goals. Having a structured plan empowers widows to take intentional steps toward healing, even when overwhelmed by grief.
Building Resilience and Coping Skills: Coaches help widows develop practical coping skills, stress management techniques, and resilience-building exercises. Strengthening emotional resilience helps widows face challenges, adapt to change, and find hope amidst grief.
Rediscovering Identity and Purpose: Coaches assist widows in exploring their identity beyond their role as a spouse. They encourage self-discovery and help set new life goals. Rediscovering purpose and passions fosters a sense of renewal and helps widows move forward.
Managing Practical Concerns: Coaches address practical matters such as financial planning, legal processes, and adjusting to life changes. By addressing practicalities, widows can focus more on their emotional healing.
Creating a Support Network: Coaches guide widows in building a supportive network of friends, family, and community resources. Having a strong support system eases the burden of grief and provides comfort during difficult times.
Grief is a unique and personal experience. Professional coaching provides individualized guidance, encouragement, and tools to help widows navigate their grief journey and find healing.
Paisley Project has developed a team of professionally trained coaches who, in addition to being widowed themselves, have gone through additional training to understand the specific needs of widows. Visit our Coaching Page for more information.
Therapeutic Art Practices
Therapeutic art practices offer widows a unique outlet for expressing and processing their grief in a safe and creative manner. Engaging in activities such as painting, drawing, or making a collage or nature-based art allows individuals to externalize their emotions, providing a tangible way to explore feelings of loss, sadness, and even joy associated with memories of their loved ones.
In addition to being a method to focus attention in the present, this form of self-expression can facilitate self-discovery and healing, helping widows to navigate their complex emotional landscapes. By creating art, they can foster a sense of community when shared in group settings, find solace in the creative process, and ultimately build a pathway to resilience as they reconstruct their identities in the aftermath of loss.
We have created art activities for all of our L.I.V.E. Intensive Retreats, but also occasionally host online art classes.
Journaling
Writing about grief and loss has therapeutic benefits. Research indicates that journaling can be a beneficial healing activity for widows coping with their loss. Studies have shown that expressive writing helps individuals process grief, leading to improved emotional well-being. By articulating their thoughts and feelings on paper, widows may find a productive outlet for their sorrow, allowing them to reflect on their experiences and navigate the complexities of their grief.
Moreover, engaging in journaling has been linked to reduced stress levels and enhanced self-awareness, ultimately fostering a sense of empowerment during a challenging time. This practice not only promotes emotional clarity but also encourages a deeper understanding of their individual healing journeys. Journaling allows widows to explore their emotions, memories, and hopes.
Research also indicates that expressive writing improves emotional regulation, reduces distress, and enhances clarity of thought.
Journaling activities that are both accessible and thought-provoking are included in all of our L.I.V.E. Intensive Retreats.
Physical Healing Therapies
Physical exercise, massage, and other healing practices play a significant role in mitigating the effects of grief. Engaging in regular physical activity promotes neuroplasticity, enabling the brain to reorganize and adapt in response to changes. This can be particularly beneficial during times of emotional distress, as it facilitates coping mechanisms and enhances mental resilience.
Massage therapy contributes to the release of endorphins, which are known as mood-enhancing hormones. This natural boost can alleviate feelings of sadness and anxiety, fostering a sense of well-being. Additionally, these practices often lead to improved sleep quality, which is crucial for emotional recovery. Restorative sleep aids in processing grief, allowing individuals to face their feelings more effectively.
Managing stress is another key benefit. Physical activity and massage can lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress, helping individuals cope with the overwhelming sensations that accompany grief. Furthermore, these practices can increase energy levels, providing the physical and emotional stamina needed to engage with daily life.
Overall, incorporating physical exercise, massage, and similar healing practices into a routine can offer significant support, helping to establish emotional balance and resilience during challenging times.
Our L.I.V.E. Intensive Retreats usually include a 70-minute massage. We also program activities which will get us out in nature and our bodies moving. We have visited hydrotherapy spas and explored cold-plunges. And we do it together, which is a plus.
The Big Six
Each of these activities has been studied and proven effective. Given limited time and resources each widow has, we believe that these are the most effective ways we can come alongside a widow. There are, of course, so many different ways to promote healing, but we at Paisley Project believe that these pillars have the most impact on widows in helping them recover from loss, and develop a new plan for the future.
But beyond research, we believe in the resilience of widows. Grief doesn’t diminish them; it empowers them to create meaningful lives they never imagined.
Join us.