Questions with Karyl
It happens all the time: I'll be at an event or retreat and, after a long conversation with a widow, she'll nervously lean in close, saying,
"Can I ask you a question?"
Some of the hesitation comes from struggling to find the right words. "Widow's brain" is real and can make even simple conversations challenging. But there's also the fact that she has questions about things she never imagined having to consider:
"When do you stop wearing your wedding ring?"
or
"Will people think I didn't have a good marriage if I start dating again?"
or its corollary
"Will people think I'm stuck in mourning if I don't want to date again?"
or
"How can I help my kids in their grief if I'm struggling just to take care of myself?"
The truth is, there are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions. After fourteen years of widowhood, all I know is that we make most of it up as we go along.
Still, these are good questions and address real challenges. What many widows don't realize is that countless others are asking about the same topics. Yet widows often don't know where to turn. They fear judgment from well-meaning family and friends who, despite caring deeply, simply don't "get it." They may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable asking, and there seems to be nowhere to find answers.
This is why we've developed a new online gathering exclusively for widows—a safe place to pose these questions. We call it "Questions with Karyl," and our first event will be on Wednesday, January 29th, from 6:00 - 7:30 pm (MST).
To ensure we address the issues widows most want to discuss, we'll soon send an email to all widows who've signed up for our Paisley Project newsletter, and we'll post on the private Facebook page. We'll include both the Zoom link and a questionnaire that you can fill out (anonymously or not) with your burning questions.
We'll review the submitted questions and select topics to discuss on the 29th. While I'll host the event, I've invited several Paisley Project coaches to join us and share their perspectives. Widows may choose to participate actively or observe quietly. As this is our inaugural event, we'll see how it unfolds. I'm looking forward to connecting with as many of you as possible.
We plan to offer this opportunity quarterly, addressing different questions each time. We are in this with you.
By your side, as always,
Karyl